What I Learned When My Husband had a Heart Attack

My husband is 47 years young. And he had a heart attack. I almost lost him. But the Lord preserves us and is graceful and merciful. He watches over everything and guides us. I cannot imagine not having Him in my life as I go through trials. As I've said before, it is because of the Lord that we get through the trials, and not dwell in them! Praise the Lord!
So he had his heart attack and this is what I learned:

1. Do not listen to your husband!

    I say this because my husband is the kind of man that cares about others before himself. He is always worried about inconveniencing others, so when his pain started on the night of June 3rd and I suspected a heart attack, he denied it. And he kept denying it to me until what could have been the end. I wanted him to go the the ER that night. He said he was just tired and needed to go to sleep. I wanted to go get him Aspirin, but he refused. Then when he woke me up the next morning to tell me it was getting worse, I wanted to leave immediately to the ER. But he told me to call our doctor. After learning the doctor was out for the week, I said "let's just go to the ER." But he said, "No let's just go to immediate care", which is a clinic that is 3 miles away in heavy traffic whereas the ER is literally down the street .4 miles away! Then I thought, maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. I listened to him and took him to immediate care. I had to get the boys ready and load them up. Then on the way, I'm driving like a maniac and as we are almost there I notice that his breathing is getting few and far between. My petitions to the Lord were high and I just wanted to make it. I drop him off at the front of the immediate care, and later, I learn that he walks in and tells the information desk that he's having a heart attack. That would have been good information for him to tell me!!! When I walk in with the boys, the lady yells at me, "You should have taken him to the ER!" Really? Thanks. I felt like a big worthless heel. They took care of him immediately and give him nitro and aspirin and then he tells them he's starting to feel better. But the doctor tells him no, you are having a heart attack. And he says, no, I just ate something bad at river festival. Then about three or four denials later the doctor looks at him and screams, "You are having a heart attack!" They call an ambulance and bring him to the hospital that was right by our house. Why didn't he tell me he was having a heart attack? Because he didn't want to worry me or have me panic. Now let me repeat, if your husband cares more about others than himself, even in the face of death, DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM!

2. Having an emergency back up to care for children is important.

    I never thought of this before. We have no family in town. Of course we have a sitter. But I'm speaking of an adult that can prepare food and keep them over night and comfort them when they don't understand why we're not there. It was the first time I had to think about leaving the children with someone else. They had never stayed without us before. I am so grateful for the friends who came to our aid. They are family. Our sons confirmed this as I was standing in the ER waiting room and the chaplain was asking the boys if they had a sister. They both said yes and proudly said "Paloma", which was the name of the daughter of the friend that was rushing to pick up the boys. Obviously I called the right people. Another congregational family came to our aid, as well as our business partners, tag teaming with each other. Knowing that they were being cared for made it easier to concentrate on my husband. All of them were invaluable help and help I would use again in the subsequent ER visits. What a blessing they are!

3. Enlist Prayer Warriors immediately and don't be alone in the waiting room.

    I called the Rabbi as I was following the ambulance to the hospital. I had no idea what they were going to do or what was about to happen and that is when I needed prayer. You need prayer warriors in an emergency. And in scripture, you are instructed to have the Elders pray for the sick (James 5:14). Also, praying family members and friends will lift up your loved one immediately. You can literally feel the prayers, especially when the doctor comes out and says "Your husband is fine and we caught him in time, good job bringing him in." To which I thought, "Really? It took forever to get him here. Praise God he made it!" Having someone sit with you in the Coronary Heart Cath waiting room is important. I didn't know that I would be waiting so long while they had him in heart cath surgery. I didn't really know what was happening. They kept me out of the ER room so doctors and nurses could do their job, so all I got was "we're taking him to heart cath and follow us." I think they were just working fast because they needed to get him in right away, and they did a great job. It was just a whirlwind. Then one of the nurses says come give him a kiss because things happen very fast in here. I was worried, but I wasn't afraid, prayers will have that effect. I said goodbye and went to the waiting area. The chaplain was with me and thankfully, the Rabbi was already in the building. I didn't have to wait alone. Then our friend that works there who is also an Elder's wife, came and sat with me too. The Lord brought those loving people around so I wouldn't be alone. And then two more people from the congregation just happened to be there with a sick relative, and yet they still managed to minister to me, praying and bringing me coffee. What a blessing!

4. No matter what, keep your cool.

    Family members can be both supportive and a source of stress. So you do need to keep your cool and not fly off the handle if one of them freaks out or gets upset at how you handled the situation. Whether you call them right away to let them know what is happening, or wait until you actually know what is happening, you will not please all the people all the time. It is impossible. Be kind. After all, my husband's family has known him longer than I have. I had to focus on my immediate family and what I needed to do to get through this emergency, focusing on my husband and no one else. Extended family members will understand and eventually come around. And really, they would do the same if it was the other way around.

5. Whatever the doctor says your time at home should be before returning to work, DOUBLE IT! and Rest means REST! 

I could not get my husband to rest. I really don't think that word is in his vocabulary. English or Spanish. He doesn't get it. I felt like the most nagging wife ever. He wanted to take out the trash, go outside and water the plants and dust and vacuum and paint the floor boards for heaven's sake! Just take a nap for the love of all that is good and holy!!!!! I finally had to ask him, what if I had the heart attack and he was taking care of me? Would he hover and make sure I was resting, or would he just not care? Seriously...think about it! My Serenity Prayer: Dear Lord, please help me to control the things I can and not slip my husband some sleepytime tea so he has no choice but to lay in bed and REST. Amen.

6. When not complying with #5, subsequent ER visits may occur.

    Guillo had his heart attack on the 4th and was dismissed on the 6th. On the 12th, we were back at the ER because he had tingling and numbness in his leg. Which is where they put the cath in to put the stint in his heart. Not good. One sono later, we were out and he felt better. They didn't find anything wrong, he just needed to rest. He was back at work on the 14th because the discharge instructions on the 6th said one week. I knew it was too soon. My mom kept telling us to double it, but he wanted to go back. Then on the 20th, we're back at the ER with headache, excessive tiredness and fever. They did a lot of testing and readmitted him to the hospital for the night. They determined that is was costochondritis, which is inflammation of the cartilage connected to the sternum and rib bones. He just needed to take pain medication and rest. Yes, REST!

7. Beware of the Mothering/Smothering side effect.

    Although I firmly stand beside #5 and #6, there is a tip over point. I have to be careful to not treat my husband as a child. I haven't resorted to threats or bribery, but I bet I'm not far! Releasing the reins is hard for any caregiver to do. It will take time. Not everything is your fault and you cannot control everything. At some point, you just have to be a support, not a stumbling block and master the difference. I will need reminders every now and then. My Serenity Prayer #2: Dear Lord, please help me to be a woman of valor, supportive and soft spoken, and not the screaming, ranting, controlling, crazy wife as is my nature 99.9% of my stress-filled day. Amen.

8. Know the Symptoms!

   Guillo started complaining about heartburn and then a pain in his chest the night before. He went to sleep and woke the next morning to get ready for work. He said the pain was in both shoulders, down his arms, and throughout his whole chest and it was getting stronger. He couldn't sit up straight. By the time we were a few blocks from immediate care, he was sweating profusely and his breathing was labored. We almost didn't make it. Praise God for his provision! I believe that if he'd know what the symptoms were before they happened, he would not have put up such a fight about getting help right away. For women, the same side effects can happen, along with nausea, vomiting and back pain. See the American Heart Association's website for more information.

9. Keep up on your yearly doctor visits!

    You are what you eat and no, it's not all relative! You never know what it is that may be sneaking up on you. It could be a hereditary disease, or it could be that your sedentary lifestyle and bad eating habits are taking their toll on your body. But if you keep up on your yearly check-ups and check your blood work, then  you may find out before having a near death experience. After his heart attack, I learned that Guillo had had similar pains in his chest a year and a half ago and never bothered to check it out. He also had not been to the doctor for a regular physical since 2005. Crazy! That's not happening again! Since there is no family history of heart disease, it was clearly his lifestyle. Thankfully, that is something we can control.

10. Be intimate with your loved ones.

     Give a hug and a kiss every time you leave each other. Because as our family physician tells us, no one is promised tomorrow. When in the presence of your loved ones, be with them, not by them. Snuggle, talk, listen and enjoy each other. Every moment is a gift from the Lord. Call your extended family often. Know what is going on in their lives and be a part of it. Most of all, be intimate with the Lord. He gave his only Son for you. Know His Son, seek salvation and there will be no need for fear because everlasting life is free!

"For what one earns from sin is death; but eternal life is what one receives as a free gift from God, in union with the Messiah Yeshua, our Lord." - Romans 6:23

Two things Guillo said that will never leave my mind. He said he was never afraid. When you are saved, why would you be? But once he thought about how close he came to dying, he felt bad about leaving me and our two boys. It would be sad to loose their father so young. And that is reason enough to make a change. The second thing he said just blew me away. I noticed as he was laying in Coronary ICU, that he had his wedding ring on. The whole time he went to immediate care, then ER, then surgery and then in CICU, he had his wedding ring on. This is unusual for him, and for me for that matter. I asked him why. He said, in case he died, he wanted to be sure he had his wedding ring on. I love that man. I praise God for bringing him into my life and for keeping him here for his family a while longer. I can't imagine going through something like this without the Lord. And I am thankful that we don't have to!

Purim - A Celebration Commandment

Purim is in a week and I am busy designing the costumes for our family. I love it. I love the celebration. It is a festival based on the book of Esther and is a festival of remembrance of how God preserves His people. I even love the Hamantashen, not necessarily making them, but eating them is most joyful. Hamantashen are cookies made specifically for Purim and are said to be in the shape of Haman's ears or hat, depending on your preferred tradition. At ours and most synagogues and congregations around the world, there are Purim carnivals and puppet shows, the telling of the Purim story and a huge celebration. Why? We are commanded to in God's Word:

"These days should be remembered and observed in every generation by every family, and in every province and in every city. And these days of Purim should never cease to be celebrated by the Jews, nor should the memory of them die out among their descendants." - Esther 9:28

I love that! We are literally commanded to celebrate, as long as there are descendants of the Jewish people, there should be a Purim celebration. Awesome!
But not only Jewish people can celebrate, Gentiles that are with them can celebrate as well.

" the Jews took it upon themselves to establish the custom that they and their descendants and all who join them should without fail observe these two days every year, in the way prescribed and at the time appointed." - Esther 9:27

Everyone can share in the celebration. Jew and Gentile, celebrating together, celebrating the preservation fo the Jews because salvation is from the Jews, Yeshua our Messiah, and He is worth celebrating!
If you've never celebrated Purim before, read my blog from last year that tells of how to read the story to your children: http://messianicjudaica.blogspot.com/2012/03/purim-party-on.html
I have also included a Hamantashen recipe below, that is my favorite. If you want to see a Purim Celebration up close and personal, visit a congregation near you! If you want to celebrate the provision of the Jewish people, you will be welcome! The congregation in Wichita, Kansas will have a Purim Service on Friday, February 22, 2013 and a Purim Carnival on Saturday, February 23, for families and their children. For more information, visit http://www.LChaimBYeshua.com.
For your enjoyment, a song by the Maccabeats about Purim:

HAMANTASHEN RECIPE

Adapted from The Children's Jewish Holiday Kitchen by Joan Nathan

Makes about 36 cookies: 

Ingredients:

DOUGH:

2/3 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg
3 Tbsp. milk
1/2 tsp. vanilla
2 1/2-3 cups sifted all-purpose unbleached flour

FILLINGS:
Prepared Apricot Preserves or Strawberry Jam

*Using a wooden spoon, cream the butter with the sugar. Add the egg and continue creaming until smooth. add the milk or water and vanilla. Sift the flour and mix it with the butter mixture until a ball of dough is formed.* (Children can do this, or you may use a food processor.) Divide the dough in 2 cylinders approximately 3 inches in diameter and refrigerate for a few hours or overnight.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Using one cylinder at a time (keep the unused cylinder refrigerated until needed), cut 1/8-inch slices of dough. Roll them out and place 1 teaspoon of filling in the center of each round. Draw the edges up at 3 points to form a triangle and pinch together carefully. Place the triangles on ungreased baking sheets and bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown. Cool on rack.

Can you sing or dance?

It is natural to feel depressed and lonely. Especially as a mother. When you get stuck in the mundane. When your kids have been sick for what seems like forever. When the housework is never finished. When the laundry is a never-ending pile. When your part-time or full-time job is overwhelming. When it's tax time. And really, just anytime. It's easy to get caught up in all the "stuff" that you forget the blessings. At least I have. I have to constantly remind myself how blessed I am. But then it occurs to me, that when you are in a constant state of praise for the Lord, you don't need that constant reminder. 

My mother use to tell me that when you feel like the enemy is attacking you, or your feel depressed, then start singing or dancing to the Lord. The enemy hates it and he'll leave. Then the countenance of the Lord will come upon you and all of a sudden you feel His joy and His presence. I know, because it works when I do it every single time. I just have to remember to do it. 

That's one of the reasons I have no clue what new artist in mainstream music is hot right now, or what the hit song is currently. I don't listen to the radio. I listen to praise and worship music on my Zune. Because when I can't get a song out of my head, I'd like for it to be one that is worshipful. It's also a great example for my children. I want them to learn how joyful it is to praise the Lord, no matter where you are or what you are doing. 

I will attempt to highlight my favorite songs each week. This week it is Paul Wilbur's "Why Should I Be Afraid" from his Desert Rain album. I'll post my favorite song onto my Facebook page each week. So if you want to see what they are and hear them, then please "Like" my page at https://www.facebook.com/MessianicJudaica

Enjoy the song and remember, even if you can't sing or dance, you can praise the Lord!

2013 To Do List

I am not much for New Year's Resolutions. Not that I haven't ever made one before, but because I never, NEVER, see them through. It's the same for most people, I'm sure. Its like an empty promise to myself. Why go through all the agony and guilt? I'm just not doing it this year. Instead I'm gonna make a "To Do" list, because on all my to do lists, I usually accomplish a few things before changing and altering the list. This way, I figure I have a higher success rate.

Here it goes:

1. Memorize one new Bible verse a week.
2. Organize my Kitchen.
3. Start a stockpile of food/goods.
4. Declutter my house.
5. Paint and redecorate the dining room (a room I spend most of my time in)
6. Complete one writing project.
7. Organize photos and back them up.
8. Fire safety plan for my home.
9. Piano lessons with kids.
10. Join a book a the month club.
11. Try one new dinner recipe every week.
12. Sign up for a race to run. (4 miles or more)
13. Start reading program with the boys.
14. Take an art class.
15. Go paperless in my home office.
16. Redesign business websites.
17. Sew/craft one Biblical banner.
18. Take a Bible study class.
19. Make one family scrapbook.
20. Create crafting/project/sewing area.

Now, I know not all of these can be accomplished in one year. Since I still have to clothe, feed and attend to my children and husband, I'll be happy if I accomplish at least three in 2013. That would be a success in my book. Actually, I think that should be my motto for the new year: Small Success is the Best. I am not trying to lower my expectations, I am just trying to give myself a little grace in knowing that I am a busy mom and wife and anything I accomplish is a success, no matter how small. So goodbye 2012 and hello 2013 and hello to a more relaxed me, by God's grace!

"Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future." Proverbs 31:25

Do you Chrismukkah?

No, I'm not asking you about your banking preference. I'm referring to the fusing of two holidays: Christmas and Hanukkah.
It is basically when a family celebrates Hanukkah and Christmas. Although Chrismukkah is traditionally referenced by people who celebrate both holidays due to interfaith marriages, this actually becomes more of a reality to the Messianic. Why? Because we actually do believe that Yeshua (Jesus) is our Savior. Therefore, the question becomes: Do you CHRISTmukkah?

After all, the Christmas I am interested in is the one that is centered around Christ. I have never taught my children about Santa, in fact, they know he is not real. And we don't put up a Christmas tree.
This year, since Hanukkah was so much earlier than Christmas, I was in the middle of Hanukkah celebrations as various school and social Christmas activities were taking place. A few people have asked me this year, "Do you celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas?" And I replied, "No, just Hanukkah." Then I felt odd. Like I was turning my back on Christmas. Why? If we tell Jewish people that they can become believers and not turn their back on their Jewish roots, then why, as Messianics should we not partake in a holiday that unites us in celebrating the birth of our Messiah with other believers?
I acknowledge that most Messianics, having done the research, have come to the conclusion that Yeshua's birth most likely occurred during the Fall Feast of Sukkot, known as the Feast of Tabernacles, described in Leviticus 23, Numbers 29 and Deuteronomy 16. My family and I celebrate Messiah's birth during this Feast because the central theme of Sukkot is God dwelling with us. To me and my family, the connection is obvious.
However, I am a mother. My primary goal is to raise my children for the Lord, so that they may know the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and have a personal relationship with their Messiah, Yeshua. And they need to have a firm grasp of their identity as a Messianic believer. I want them to know that Christmas is about celebrating Messiah's birth, not about Santa Claus and not about a Christmas tree. I want them to know that while we may not know exactly when the Savior was born, it is never a bad thing to celebrate His birth.
So this year, I am going to display my Nativity scene during Christmas and since I just had it out during Sukkot, it won't be difficult to get it out again. I'm also going to teach my children the songs that directly speak of the Messiah. How can I go wrong teaching our children songs like God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, Silent Night, O Come All Ye Faithful, Angels We Have Heard on High, and the Little Drummer Boy (which always brings me to tears), and many more? I will also read the story of Messiah's birth from the Bible. I'll make it a new family tradition. My boys are at an age now where they have begun to understand the festivals and holidays. They remember our traditions. If they can understand the menorah and the story of the Maccabees and God's redemption during Hanukkah, then Christmas is a perfect time to celebrate and rejoice in the birth of our Savior with our Christian brothers and sisters. We are all on the same team. Let's celebrate together.
So to all you Messianics, Happy Christmukkah!

Address Book

Nowadays it is more common to have an address app rather than a traditional address book. It's about as uncommon as having a day-timer. (Those of you who know what a day-timer is, you know what I mean.) Although I have phased out my traditional desk calendar and now "write" everything down on my calendar app on my phone, I am still clinging on to my address book. Why?

Every year at this time, I pull it out and go through it, just to make sure I don't forget anyone as I am making my Hanukkah card list. I look through every page and I see all those names I have crossed out. Some have moved out of town and thus, right out of our lives. Some friends we have just grown out of touch. Others have divorced. Others have just moved so much and taken so much space so that letter in the alphabet runs into the next letter (I won't mention any names, but you know who you are). And others have died. 

I can't bring myself to throw this address book away. Some of the letters are overrun, as I said, and there are more marked out, than there active entries. But how can I just dismiss the people I knew? I know it makes more sense to get a new one and start over, but I just can't do it. I want to remember these people every time I look through it each year and make my card list. I want to remember our time together, how we laughed, how we spent our time together, and when we cried together. I want to feel the happiness that comes with remembering the friendship or relatives and the sadness that comes mourning their loss. I wouldn't trade one day with each of these people. My life has been enriched by each person that has crossed my path. Yes, some relationships may not have been pleasant all the time, but I still grew personally.

So, I'll keep my address book with all the crossed out people in it and be thankful that I have known so many different people in my life. For my part, I'll try to be a better person to others, so I can leave happy memories in the people I encounter. 

Happy Hanukkah everyone! I hope you make many new wonderful memories and relish in the old ones, too. May the light of Yeshua our Messiah shine on you and your family, wherever you are! 

At that time the Feast of the Dedication took place at Jerusalem ; it was winter, and Jesus was walking in the temple in the portico of Solomon. The Jews then gathered around Him, and were saying to Him, "How long will You keep us in suspense ? If You are the Christ, tell us plainly." Jesus answered them, "I told you, and you do not believe ; the works that I do in My Father's name, these testify of Me. "But you do not believe because you are not of My sheep. "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish ; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. "My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all ; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. "I and the Father are one." - John 10:22-30

It's Never Too Late To Be Thankful

Pinterest has consumed my crafty world! There are so many neat and cute ideas and projects in the vast bucket of Pinterest, and I just don't have the time to do all of them. This Thanksgiving, I searched out many projects and accomplished a couple with the boys. We made Hand Print Turkeys, always a favorite when it involves painting their hands! And we made the Thankful Turkey napkin rings. Although, I didn't use them as napkin rings, I used them to tape around small cups that I filled with fruit for one of the boy's preschool Thanksgiving party.
However, there was one that I absolutely intended to do no matter what: The Give Thanks Gratitude Board.
It is such a neat idea! Each member of the family records what they are thankful for on a card for each of the 30 days of November. Then next year, you can use the back of the card, or add more cards as needed to each day. I just loved the thought of using this year after year and being able to reread previous years' and relive all those thankful memories, especially those recorded by my children. Of course, I will write the boys' responses down until they are able to write, and I'll write my husband's responses because he doesn't like to write anything and avoids it whenever possible, but it's still a great idea.
However, as usual, time goes faster than I like. November 1st came and went and I still hadn't even purchased the items I lacked to start the project. I have a plethora of crafting items in my attic. It's like a Hobby Lobby/Walmart/JoAnn's/Michael's melting pot. But I was still lacking the board, coin envelopes, coordinating ribbon and Fall scraping paper. I didn't want to make the item out of a wooden board as the directions suggested, because I just didn't want it to be that heavy. I knew I had burlap and I love burlap, so I used a foam display board and hot glued the burlap over it. The only coin envelopes I found were at the office supply stores and they were so expensive! I didn't want to spend $28 for 250 envelopes, when I only needed 30. So I improvised and used small mailing envelopes. I simply sealed and cut them, then painted each one with a sponge to make them brown and no one can tell that they are regular mailing envelopes. Plus I can replace my stash for a mere $1. :)
I spent a total of $8. Now I have a beautiful Give Thanks Gratitude Board. So what if we didn't start using it until November 14? And so what if we missed a day because of sickness? We still have 7 days completed and 9 more days of potential memories to record.  I am thankful I did the project this year, otherwise I would have missed out on such precious responses from my boys like; "I'm thankful for God", "I'm thankful for my pillow", "I'm thankful for my new jacket", "I'm thankful for my backpack you promised to get me for Hanukkah" and so many more. I'm thankful I decided it was okay for the project to be late, because it's never too late to be thankful!

Here's a link to the Give Thanks Gratitude Board tutorial I found on Pinterest:
http://jellybeanjunkyard.wordpress.com/2010/10/12/tuesday-tutorial-give-thanks-gratitude-board/